Spring fever

The young deer had got caught up in the wire fence, hapless. Its eyes were elsewhere, in the land of beyond, its breathing shallow and quick. I had its head on my lap, its fate in my hands - I should end the nightmare, put it beyond pain. The dogs had felt the full force of my fury, and shame, for they had only been doing what is inbred. Natasha and I were out for a run, the dogs off lead. Tasky had been the first to spot the bobbing white tail and screamed after it, Bonny hot on his heels. Normally I tend not to worry too much about deer chasing. It happens infrequently and I have always assumed the dogs are no match for the athletic deer. But on this occasion fate had got the better of life and it was up to me to do what was right. But what to do? I am no hunter, no keeper of animals. Yank the head back and twist? Hesitation, tears well. Cant do it.

Crestfallen, I leave the deer to the fate of the resident coyotes that would soon smell its incapacity. I was beaten – was my heart too big or just cowardly? I have still not yet discovered how to quickly kill a deer. It was my fault the deer was dying and yet I could not take the full responsibility of my dogs actions by doing what was undoubtedly right. It was days to get over the feeling of cowardice. The carcass had gone within 48hrs but bad memories take time to fade.

So spring is definitely here now, the bees are zapping all over. Warmth has finally melted white, to be replaced with green, nature going crazy trying to make up for lost time. Our newly purchased BBQ not only means that we are finally fully Canadian, but we can enjoy burnt food on the deck. Enthusiasm has meant that our planted runner beans have been severely weakened by night frost, the words from our locals of not to put anything out till after the full moon ignored. 

I’m painting the suite siding, but easily distracted by the sound and sight of hummingbirds. Lots of them, never seen so many. If I get too close to their feed, they bomb me. Sadly, one flew into the sliding glass door and died on impact. Death is never far away, life is so precious. A former student at Natasha’s school was recently killed whilst driving over the nearby Monashee pass. A huge out of control chip truck coming the other way wiped his truck out, the chip truck driver left physically intact. But what of all the bad memories?

Our two wwoofer helpers, Brigid and Sarina, have moved their adventures onwards, leaving a slight vacuum behind at Smiling Hills. We look forward to the next visitor, hopefully in July. Meanwhile, Natasha continues to work incredibly hard at Lucerne, but buoyed from the prospect of holidays not far away. We have both booked our journey to Victoria in October, so the stage is set for our next running challenge. My running legs have returned, but are acutely aware of the psychological journey ahead, as my June 1^st training start looms ever closer.

Paid work is still scarce, my truck soaking up any spare cash we collectively have. A conundrum indeed. Repair bills are undoubtedly still cheaper than a payment for a new one, but it’s the uncertainty and immediacy of breakdowns that throws us. It’s getting old, poor thing, but it will have to hang on a bit longer. We aim to go away this long Mayday weekend - the weather looks ok, the small generator packed away in the truck nestling alongside the battery charger, for the glowplugs are not working and the starter motor tired. But to get away is important, even for just a couple of days. I might even be spotted supping a beer! Our dogs have the right approach – live for the moment. It has consequences, but they don’t have to deal with them. Like it but simply cant do it.

Tim